Have you ever been in a situation when you suddenly realized that your friend doesn’t actually like you? With so many people pretending to be friendly out there, it’s difficult to figure out who actually cares about you and who doesn’t.
Sometimes, we believe that the ones whom we call our friends think lovingly and respectfully about us until the bubble of delusion is popped and the brutal truth is revealed. And if you get outcasted by a group of friends, it is even more hurtful. Recently, a Redditor
Went to a sleepover when I was about 12-13 y/o. It was for my best friends birthday. They said “let’s sit in a circle and list our favorite things about each other!” sounded wholesome, so I sat in the circle. When my turn came around, everyone in the circle had nothing positive to say about me. “buttwiped, you’re actually really annoying and we don’t like you”…. my best friend looked sad for me but didn’t say anything… damn kids are mean.
They all told me they had canceled their plans to go to a lake over the weekend, I found out they actually went, and had replaced me with someone else through their snap stories.
Got pretty sick and was in the hospital for a week. Not one of my friends in a small group (of supposedly close friends) reached out to see if I was getting better. They never visited, didn’t even so much as get a text from them. We hung out almost daily for the past two years and they knew I was in the hospital.
When I finally got better I decided it was time to get some new friends.
Had a tangential friend group. They were fine people and I was new to the city. Bought a boat and all of a sudden we’re BEST FRIENDS. The immediate rise to central friend made me step back and go “yah no.” So when I took notice of when I wasn’t invited to normal day to day stuff in the group like concerts and dinners versus when the Thursday flurry of texts came in about the weekend on the boat. I distanced myself.
Been at my job almost a year. Noticed on snapchat everyone was together for some drinks, managers, staff who started decades ago, staff who started weeks ago…
Except one other person. I texted her out of curiosity about it and she responded with “yeah, they asked me but i couldn’t go”.
I tried to laugh it off but man did that hurt.
I always thought i had a good rapport with my coworkers but i wonder now am i just being tolerated by them.
My friend group had a group chat called “The Crew” which was made in between sophomore and junior year of high school. It was used somewhat regularly for a while, up until the middle of senior year, I noticed that it straight up wasn’t being used anymore. While I was around some of them one day, I noticed them having “The Crew” notifications pop up on their phone and finally I asked my best friend (like one of the 3 people in that group I’m still friends with today) if they made a new group chat and he said yeah. It was basically the old one minus me and plus like 10 more people. It sucked but whatever, f**k em.
When email was starting to become a thing, my classmates and I were having lunch and a bunch of them were excitedly exchanging emails. When I asked one of them to give me hers, she said: “Why do you need it? We see each other everyday.” She gave it to everyone else.
I became friends with a group of women my own age, mid 20s, through a mutual friend we all shared and I thought we were getting along really well. We would meet up at least once a week and do dinner and movies at one of our homes, I was invited to weddings, hosted baby showers, we all belonged to the same social media group and chatted constantly. Then gradually I started noticing I was no longer being invited to things. I would show up at an event and be totally out of the loop as far as major life changes were concerned and no one would bother telling me anything or filling me in. I then found out through that mutual friend that the group had gotten tired of me and instead of saying anything they had created a new social media group without me and were just waiting for me to take the hint and leave them alone. So I did. I stopped trying to stay connected and just let the four years of friendship die.
I saw them all at that mutual friends wedding recently and tried to have a casual conversation, catch up and everything, but not a single one of them even looked at me or said a word to me. I felt really stupid and confused as I stood in a group with them but was completely ignored. I eventually wandered off.
Back in highschool, I thought I was best friends with a girl on my sports team for 3-4 years. Through thick and thin I’ve been there for her. I supported her through devere depression, bullying, abusive home life, multiple suicide attempts, giving her my clothes when her dad periodically burned hers, bringing her food from my house, spliting my bus tokens so she didnt have to walk home from practice late evenings(you have to qualify for them), letting her wash her clothes and bathe at my house so she didn’t get ridiculed, stuck up for her during a time she nearly got expelled wrongfully, and just being a good friend to her in anyway I could.
Long story short, senior year, between classes when I asked her where did she want my mom to take her out to eat for her birthday this year (my mom was doing this the past few years), she told me she was going to out with ‘A’ and ‘B’ this year because “I only want to hang out with friends, but I’ll see you on Monday.”
I didn’t even know what to say and stared blankly at her, then went to class then practice. I felt hurt and was so salty that McDonald’s could’ve used me for their french fries for a long time after that. I haven’t spoken to her since.
They all went to an amusement park out of town on a weekend without telling me.
When I found out they said it was because they didn’t want me to be all mopy and depressed all weekend.
The day I was informed that my presence wasn’t necessary for the annual Christmas party. After I had spent what little money I had made that year into presents for the friends that I thought were supportive of me.
I still have the presents.
I was sitting at the lunch table with them and they were talking. It then dawned on me that they never talked to me during lunch or reached out to me during break. I was basically following them around like a stupid lost puppy all the time while they couldn’t care less.
When I invite them all to my birthday and nobody arrived. Turns out, they got together elsewhere that same day and just decided as a group not to show up.
I remember one Monday in high school I sat down in the cafeteria with my friends and we start talking about how our weekend was.
Friend #1 mentions a Will Ferrell movie he saw. I ask if it was funny and he tells me one of the scenes he really liked.
Friend #2 chimes in to say “Remember the scene where…?” and recounts another hilarious moment. They both laugh in agreement.
“Oh, you saw the movie, too?” I ask and friend #2 confirms.
Then friend #3 says: “And remember when friend #4 threw up from food poisoning!” and everyone laughs — including friend #4, who had no shame.
That’s when I realized: they all went together and I was never invited. Unfortunately, I developed quite a bit of shame.
I spent my free time over a fall and winter helping a friend restore a fishing boat (25’ish Mako). Sanding old rough fiberglass (this is agonizing work by the way, you have to have all of your skin covered, goggles, respirator, gloves or the fibers inbed in your skin.) Putting down new fiberglass. Sanding that smooth. Priming, painting, gel coating. Lacing a new canvas onto the T-top. Guess who didn’t get invited on the first trip. Yup. We don’t speak anymore.
I didn’t get the little going away party at work. It’s a silly thing, but it was a close, friendly workplace and when people would quit they’d set up cheap little themed decorations from the office printer and add some other funny stuff about the person that was leaving. I brought a cake and it was fine and I know my coworkers didn’t dislike me, but I guess everyone sort of forgot about me because I’m not the most expressive person. I was sad I never got my themed decorations. I worked there for two years.
When they took all the proceeds from the project we had worked on together, and to which I had contributed a great deal of labor, then went to Disney World for a week. Without me.
In college I had a group of friends (4 guys and 4 girls, including myself). I realized I was out of the loop when for Christmas all the girls gifted each other a friendship bracelet and I was the only one without one. It was also kind of humiliating since this was during a Christmas party with just the group while we were opening presents in a circle, so the guys noticed as well.
At that moment, I realized that even though it hurt, all the pieces started to fit about the girls’ attitudes and interactions with me and I decided I didn’t need people like that in my life. Although it was hurtful, I was more surprised that they could act so petty and childish for being juniors and seniors in college. I just wish I noticed all the red flags earlier since I did consider them as good friends, but at least now I know.
When my friends said they don’t go to the movies just to go there without me. I saw them because I went with my older sister instead
You get the news last of what happened with the group members and you don’t get an invitation from them, they only invite you when you invite yourself through them. Meaning that when they discuss the plans and you happen to be there so they must invite you. But i was always like that. This above was just a summary of what i experienced. Ive never had that kind of friend group that actually cared about me, so i never had an “oh s**t” moment.