We’ve all been there. Made a remark that we instantly regretted, a dumb comment that threw somebody off, a stupid decision we’d like to reverse. It’s inescapable, it’s part of the wonderfully bizarre process called life. However, there are moments, fragments in time, where your brain freezes just to process the stupidity coming out of a certain person’s mouth. You ponder whether it was a joke and you should give a polite laugh, or whether it was serious and you’re dealing with a serious dumbo right here. This post is about the latter. The hopelessly, irreversibly, painfully dumb people we humbly admit we like to laugh at. Anonymously, though, we’re not a-holes!
Apparently, we’re not the only ones loving the this-person-is-beyond-dumb stories! When one Reddit user under the username
Anyone who wears a mask but doesn’t pull it up over their nose
I locked my purse with my keys and cell phone in my apartment. I went to the office to ask maintenance to let me in. The woman at the desk said she would call maintenance and asked for a phone number they could reach me at. I said there wasn’t one because my cell phone was locked in my apartment. She insisted she needed a number. I said I could give her the number but that I wouldn’t be able to answer if they called. She suggested I get my phone out of my apartment so that I could answer when they called. I rolled my eyes at her and said if I could get in my apartment to get my cell phone I wouldn’t need maintenance to let me in. She never did understand me. But maintenance did show up ten minutes later.
I’m an identical twin, and have been asked all manner of utterly ridiculous questions about it throughout my life. But I think the stupidest was when a girl once asked me “do you ever get yourselves mixed up with each other?” I responded “are you asking me if I ever sometimes think I’m my brother?” she replied, “yeah.”
No. I don’t.
This was my first experience in retail where I learned what many customers would be like.
Seasons were changing, so we put a lot of shirts we had to get rid of in the front and made them 50% off. I was working the register when a woman came up to buy her things. I rang her up and could see a look on her face like something was wrong. That’s when the following happened.
Lady: “Why is this so much.”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Lady: “This should only be $10 not $20.”
I thought that maybe her item was on sale, so I asked if she could point out the sign because I wasn’t aware of it. It was a small store and we didn’t have to walk anywhere.
Lady: “This sign here.”
Me: “This sign says that all shirts are 50% off.”
Lady: “Yes, so why is this full price.”
Me: “This is a hat.”
The time a friend told me how much he hates potatoes….while eating French fries and I literally blew his mind by telling him French fries are potatoes..
I was once asked how it felt to come to the US as a refugee (I’m from Germany). She then looked rather surprised when I told her that Hitler has been dead for 75 years and that Germany is one of the more liberal countries in the world these days. She full on thought I fled Nazi Germany.
My wife’s cousin and her husband/not-baby-daddy-of her-unborn-child fell on self induced hard times and needed a place to stay for a bit. We setup a queen sized air mattress in the living room for them. For 3 weeks I woke up to go to work and every morning saw them sleeping on it sideways with their legs hanging off the edge. Then one day she asked me to buy her a bigger air mattress because this one was hard on their backs. I told her to turn her body (the f**king thing even has a built in pillow on one end). Her response was that then they couldn’t see the TV. THEN F**KING TURN THE AIR MATTRESS TO FACE THE TV! That’s the story of how I became an asshole to the trailer trash side of the family.
The bad part is that its only one of many stories. The husband was a cook at Applebee’s. The baby daddy was a cook at Applebee’s, and her new husband was……another cook from the same f**king Applebee’s. All working together.
Coworker bought a low-flow shower head. He filled the BATHTUB using the new low-flow shower head BECAUSE IT WOULD USE LESS WATER!
I once worked in a midwestern grocery store deli and I was trying to explain to a woman that the name brand and generic brand of the macaroni salad that we carried were in fact identical. The woman yelled at me saying she could only have the generic brand because “one is made with mayo and the other is made with mayonnaise and I don’t like mayo”. When I tried to explain that mayo is an abbreviation of mayonnaise, she just said “I’m from the south, I know my food” and tutted away.
Rescued a coworker on the side of the road with a flat tire, waiting for the tow truck, I pointed out the nail at the top of their tire. They scoffed and looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world and exclaimed
that’s not true bc it’s flat at the bottom
I just walked away and never brought it up again
Back when the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster happened we were discussing how the reactor had failed in a science class. 5 minutes into the conversation a girl piped up and said “I don’t see what the big deal is. Why can’t we just regrow it?”
She dead ass thought a nuclear power plant was… A plant
Dated a guy~ we watched TITANIC…. he thought the movie was stupid because the boat sank. It wasn’t believable. You can’t recover from that. Ever
I met a guy who got hit by a train. Not that bad, but a year later he went to show his daughter where and how he got hit by the train and he got hit again.
I got a concussion a while back. A friend of mine told me not to come close because it might be contagious. They weren’t kidding.
I worked at a restaurant and we had a dish that was just a whole grilled chicken, chopped into pieces. A woman who ordered for delivery called us, absolutely scathing, complaining that her order of one whole chicken only contained TWO chicken breasts. Had to explain to grown ass woman that chicken only have two breasts.
My boss asked me to file the spam mail. This man was one of those people who think they are the smartest person in the room. So spam folder Okay… weird, but okay. I couldn’t find any spam mail that wasn’t already in the spam folder. Afternoon comes and he stomps over to my desk area and wants to know why the spam isn’t in the spam folder as he throws a Manila folder on my desk. The folder was labeled spam. He prints spam mail out and files it. And with any sign of skepticism on my face, he’d insist the IT guy told him that’s where spam goes so he got himself a folder and that was it. I had to get the f**k out.
When I read yesterday that people think ocean water and sand are giving them coronavirus, rather than realizing its because they are spending time on a crowded beach with strangers. Smh
There was a girl in my high school who forced the teacher to pause a documentary about people living in mud huts in Africa because she was upset that they were showing us fictional movies in a history class. It took everyone else in the room to convince her that people actually live like that in some places. Wealthy area living for ya.
This story is in good faith.
I was asking my friend, J, when he learned about 9/11. He started telling me this specific story of how he walked outside and saw smoke everywhere and how he asked his mom about it, he claimed she said planes hit the towers.
I stared at him, just silently taking in the story.
We live in the Midwest, there was no way he saw the debris from the towers.
Also we were born in 2003.
Dude burned down his convenience store for an insurance claim, and stopped the milk and bread deliveries the day before.
Summer camp counselor made all the kids on a school bus keep the windows up on a hot day because “they could feel the Air Conditoning” coming from the front of the bus.
It was so hot and I (maybe 10 years old at the time) had to explain to the 40 year old counselor that the “air conditioning” they were feeling was the wind coming in through the bus drivers open window. She still didn’t believe me.
I begged her to ask the bus driver to confirm the bus did not have air conditioning but she didn’t want to bother him while he was driving. It was like a 1 hour bus trip.
She finally got hot enough and asked the bus driver if the bus had air conditioning. And he jokingly said “The bus only has air conditioning when the windows are down and the wheels are turning.” She then looked back at me and said” See? I told you the bus had air conditioning” and proceeded to force us to keep the windows up.
I work for Parks Canada in Yoho National Park. I have been asked the question (seriously), “Where do you keep the animals at night?” twice in my career. To this day I still find great joy imagining what they thought was going on each night as we “collected” every large animal in the Parks.
I worked at a pet store in college. This customer asked me which food would make his pit bull “swole.” I suggested a high protein food with a good amount of exercise but advised that a lot of it was determined by the dog’s genetics. He asked me if we sold genetics.
My sister asked if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or France and couldn’t understand how it could be in both…
Edit: Woah. My top rated comment is me announcing one of my sister’s airhead moments haha. I feel like I need to defend her now.
This happened when she was like 14. She’s 26 now. She went on to graduate from college and graduated top of her class.
She later clarified that she meant to ask if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or elsewhere in France but she clearly didn’t say it like that.
She’s gonna kill me when I tell her how much attention this got.
I moved to the UK from Germany. A guy asked me if we had colours in Germany.
Knew a girl in middle school that didn’t understand the concept of perspective
She also thought North was whichever direction you were facing at the time
In high school I met a boy who asked me for a hygienic cloth because he thought he had a period, actually he only sat on a melted popsicle
I had to explain to a girl why you couldnt grow your hair down in front of your face and just cut out eye holes. Even explaining it her she couldnt grasp it and brushed me off as being “too smart.”
I was friends with with a guy who believed those fake apple adverts like “Apple Wave – Microwave your phone for instant battery charge” I was so dumbfounded that he actually fell for it. When I saw him the week after and he had a new phone it all clicked for me
I used to work with a girl who was sweet but so dumb. We were in a meeting once and somehow someone mentioned baked ham. My manager said “Ugh I hate ham. It looks like human flesh.” The girl I mentioned was sitting next to me and looked horrified and whispered “Does ham really come from people?”