Oh, the good old uni days. Meeting new people, making new friends, getting invited to parties next door, and pub crawls until buff big security guy decides that “that’s enough for you, buddy.” However, it’s usually the roommates who make or break your college experience. And although you may become bosom buddies with some mates, others you wish you’d never see again in your life.
For those looking for a flatmate, this might be an excellent opportunity to realize that the criteria for choosing a roommate should be higher than just paying rent on time and flushing the toilet. When someone on Reddit
I had a roommate who (among other disgusting things) repeatedly left blood on the toilet seat when she was on her period and left her bloody pads sitting out. One time she left one on the radiator and it melted down to the metal.
he was responsible for collecting our individual rent payments and turning in the rent check to management. instead, he spent two full months’ rent ($4100) on cocaine and take-out, then disappeared when the eviction notice was posted on our door.
I came home from vacation to thousands of dead fruit flies throughout our refrigerator and kitchen, roach carcasses in the bathroom, and the news that her cat had vomited or marked its territory in one of a number of other ways in every room of the house.
She had not noticed any problems.
He listened to heavy metal music to ‘fall asleep’ without freaking headphones… I couldn’t last more than 2 nights.
I had a roommate who would (attempt to) leave unjustified scathing, passive-aggressive notes for just *everyone*: our apartment neighbors, cars parked outside, and even our landlady. The kind of notes with overly-polite language underlines, and randomly capitalized words. Always written in red marker. Always rude enough to get the s**t beaten out of her. Always signed from both of us.
I spent that year following her around and removing the notes as quickly and quietly as possible.
My old roommate always used the same pan for eggs and never cleaned it. For an entire year, this pan was caked with eggs and just sat on the stove (which was also covered in egg splatter.) Even if I cleaned it for him, it would be back on the stove the next day.
College roommate, freshman year in the dorms. She secretly kept an Excel spreadsheet monitoring my study habits. Like, counting the number of hours she saw my nose in a book. So fast forward to later in the semester, when I return from a party, here she attempts an intervention… “Hairymonkeyinmyanus, I’m concerned about your study habits…” then she brings out this spreadsheet from the entire semester, comparing my total number of hours studying to the number of hours that were “recommended by my advisor for the number of credits you’re taking.”
Ran an illegal eBay theft and resale ring out of my apartment. I flew home to Texas to go to a family funeral and two days into the trip had FBI Special Agents calling my phone, and telling me they had confiscated all the computers in my house.
I was cleared of all wrongdoing, the FBI agents said it was clear I had no idea what was going on…but lesson learned. If your roommate is cagey with you about how they pay rent, it’s probably not good.
She started stealing my clothes and went walking around in them to college. She seemed to be absolutely convinced they belonged to her until the day she left to move back home. I got a text saying “Found some stuff in my wardrobe that I think you might want. Bye.” and sure enough, in her wardrobe, were my clothes, my socks, and even my bath towels. Shocked, I took one towel out and a vibrator fell out of it and onto my bare foot.
He drank my contact lens solution because he thought it was drugs. The whole bottle. A big bottle. Not only did he not figure it out while not being remotely high halfway through a f*cking pint of lens solution, if it had been drugs, he would’ve died a lot.
Bonus idiocy: Also claimed he invented lettuce wraps
I had a roommate in college who could only fall asleep if he watched Disney movies at night. I had to listen to them every night for hours trying to sleep. And I now hate the Lion King with the passion of a thousand burning suns.
I had a roommate who decided it was ok to use my towel to dry off after a shower and continued to do so even after I asked him to stop. He also used my washcloth. The funny thing was I had 2 washcloths I used, one for a good-smelling body wash and the other I used exclusively for my ass, which I used regular bar soap on. The body wash made the other cloth look gray and the ass cloth was nice and white, despite the fact I hadn’t washed it in months. Guess which one he was using?
Probably the girl who dated the homeless drug dealer. He ended up moving in (without my permission) and started dealing out of our apartment (*definitely* without my permission). He also had the rankest boots I’ve ever smelled that he would leave in the living room.
Not actually my story but a friend of mine had a pretty rough time on her first week of living in a new place with a bunch of guys.
She originally wanted to rent with her friend but unfortunately, her friend pulled out of the university course at the local university they were attending together, so she ended up having to find somewhere to rent alone. She ended up renting a room in a house share with 4 other guys (also students). After the first week she informed them she was going to the shop and they asked her to pick up some toilet tissue for the house. Unfortunately, she forgot and they were pretty upset about it.
So the next day, after being out of the house all day she came home to find her bedroom walls and bed sheets smeared in s**t. It was their idea of teaching her a lesson about forgetting to get toilet tissue.
Had to reply since this is still recent. Met a girl on craigslist in a new town. Got along really well for the first few months, hung out, etc. After a drunken fight with her boyfriend where he kicked in her door and she pushed him down the stairs, she then decided I had been flirting with him (gross, by the way) and basically tried to kill me. I win, right?
College roommate hated us and the worst thing she did was put Nair in my conditioner.
Sophomore year rando craigslist roommate. She used to floss her teeth constantly and then just drop the used floss wherever she happened to be at the moment. The carpet was caked with it. She never did dishes and made sure to use my dishes so that I would clean them. She was deeply Christian and was weird about me being Jewish. She would scream at me and be rude to my friends and then immediately post on Facebook about how Jesus forgives her of her sins. I worked openings at a cafe near campus before class so I was always up during the week at 5 am. She got a job at the cafeteria on weekend mornings, but would sleep through her loud ass alarm from 6 am to 8 am so I could never sleep in on the weekends. Oh and she kept unplugging my printer because she learned in one of her public health classes that printer fumes give you cancer (?????)
I had a random roommate that showered once a week… ONCE. A. WEEK.
Thank God he was too lazy to go to class as well and lasted only two semesters.
Kidnapped two guys and held them for ransom. One hostage was set free weeks later while the other wasn’t so lucky. The body was eventually found in a basement cemented [and] buried in the ground.
Cops busted into the flat (I rented a room in an apartment – he lived in it before I moved in) and apprehended my roommate while he was sleeping. Tried for kidnapping and manslaughter along with his other few associates.
This was in Ontario, Canada around 2011/2012. I never really followed the story after I moved the hell out and learned that they were all in jail.
My roommate was Sohaib Malik. He seemed like a normal, nice dude. Student at the local university. Had no problems with him (aside from him using my kitchen knife without permission).
I discovered the crazy after the trash didn’t get picked up for three weeks…
The first week, I figured they just missed us. Week 2, our can is full, so we leave a bunch of bags next to it. They take the bags, [but] don’t empty the can. Week three, I chase them down the street to see what the f*ck is happening. The guy tells me they won’t empty the cans because they are full of two-liter bottles of urine, and they won’t take the risk of one breaking and squeeting on them [sic]. One of my roommates has been pissing in two-liter bottles because he was too lazy to walk to the bathroom, which was literally right next to his room. Shared a f*cking wall even. There were dozens of these bottles he had been filling and putting in the trash. I had to pull them all out to get the trash people to dump our can, put them all in some doubled-up contractor bags, and leave that sh*t in his room. Two weeks later, the bag is still there.
TL/DR roommate pissing in bottles because he would not walk 8.75 feet to the bathroom; city trash men wouldn’t touch that sh*t for anything.