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Versace? More like Vase-sace. Or Ver-Vase. Whatever.

For their Spring/Summer 2023 menswear, Donatella Versace & co. delivered a suave selection of suited gentlemen clad in breezy blazers and billowing pajama pants.

Easy, breezy AND beautiful in their pink knit vests and sporty crop-tops, the Versace man is unencumbered by gender norms and humid weather alike. He strolls in silk sets and sandals, gelled locks curled delicately inches above his chunky Medusa sunglasses.

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In fact, the only that encumbers this fella is the massive Versace vases he’s toting around everywhere as if he’s some kind of spittoon deliveryman.

Yep: alongside his ample assortment of lush leather bags and glistening gold jewelry, Versace’s man is also decked out with baroque pottery, including multi-handled jugs and simple vessels both painted with intricate gilded art.

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On his belt, the SS23 Versace man has attached even more ceramic finery, like little plates and cups, suggesting that he’s perhaps en route to the world’s most opulent tea party.

This dude may be toting some of Versace’s new shopping bag-shaped accessories (big bag season never ends) but none of his fired trophies will go inside.

Instead, he’s going to carry them in the crook of his arm or dangle them from his belt (or belt loops) via clever little holsters, allowing him to enjoy Earl Grey at a moment’s notice.

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Some new versions of Versace’s deliciously opulent travel mugs — if you can’t wait, current season styles are still available on Versace’s website — were attached to a bag on occasion, granting these guys ample access to unlimited drink storage.

In a weird way, it’s sort of like untechnical techwear, with Versace providing almost too much utility for the kinda stuff that you would not normally expect to be that utilitarian.

But, in a world where you may indeed wish to have a Versace shot glass or Grecian urn available at a moment’s notice, those Versace little cup holsters may just be worth their weight in gold.

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