Jacquemus knows how to make an impression. Regular holiday campaigns are too boring — how about near-naked Kendall Jenner wearing only a Santa hat?!

Yes, the 28-year-old Kardashian-Jenner model stars in the ads for “Guirlande,” Jacquemus’ just-dropped-online Christmas 2023 collection. And, y’know what, the whole thing is pretty fun. I didn’t ask for Jacquemus Jenga but I am glad it exists.

Though the saucier imagery — Jacquemus’ perpetual specialty — is buzzier, the photo of Kendall tucked into skis and sweater atop a fleece couch is actually one of her best shots in a minute, if you ask moi. And you didn’t. But I’m saying so anyways.

Maybe it’s the Mona Lisa smile that Kendall let play across her face or the sparkle of the Jacquemus knit but, especially considering that most of the internet derides the famous nothing-giver for, well, giving nothing, it’s a nice subtle picture.

That being said, Kendall’s semi-NSFW shots do speak louder, which is clearly the point. I mean, Jacquemus knows the power of a provocative picture perhaps better than anyone else in the biz.

Remember the French label’s Fall 2017 campaign, where clothing wasn’t just optional: it was eschewed entirely. Who needs designer when it’s skin on skin?

But — or should I say butt? — the sauciest of the semi-NSFW Kendall campaign was published on November 5, the day before Jacquemus premiered Kendall holiday campaign in full.

That’s when Jacquemus offered a first look at the Kendall imagery with a classically Jacquemus photo: barely any clothes in sight, light shining off a wet butt wrapped in Christmas lights.

It might not even be Kendall’s butt, you know, because who can really tell from here? Either way, it’s very Jacquemus to reveal a campaign ass-backwards. Ha ha I am funny.

Even before that buttcrack cracked the surface, though, Jacquemus hinted at its big star with a stylish shot of tinsel crumpled on the floor.

Fans were really hoping that Mariah Carey was to be Jacquemus’ big star, which might’ve been cooler than Kendall but also more left-field. I mean, Kendall’s done the Jacquemus runway before, even as recently as this past summer.

Not for nothing, but the Kardashians are at least a little overplayed right now, between all of Kim’s SKIMS business, Kourtney’s kid, and Kylie launching her own fashion brand.

Hell, Kim just became the face of Marc Jacobs. Again. I know she ain’t Kendall and vice versa but they’re one big famous family and the folks in Jacquemus’ IG comment section ain’t shy about saying so.

“Ugh not her again. There are so many gorgeous models out there,” one fan moaned. “Over her, please any other model on earth PLEASE,” another begged.

In fairness to her, Kendall hasn’t been in the news as much recently, besides wearing some expensive stuff and challenging Kim for Marilyn Monroe supremacy. Perhaps she was simply taking a break from all the heavy fashion lifting she did during Paris Fashion Week.

And by heavy fashion lifting, I mean strolling down the runway looking masterfully unexpressive, blank-faced on a tabula rasa-type beat.

Off the catwalk, Kendall’s modeling pivots include Stella McCartney — another legit good showing from her, TBH, and another with some bare skin — and the Gucci campaign where she turned up with her smiley beau Bad Bunny.

I can’t imagine that Kendall’s presence will actually help sell more Jacquemus clothes but that’s never the point you wanna hire a Kardashian or a Jenner. You bring these women in because it gives your brand more attention, end of story.

And that’s fine, honestly, ‘cuz how much attention is an ordinary holiday campaign gonna get you, anyways? Well, I mean good attention

Anyways, this kind of stunt casting brought plenty of eyeballs to Acne studios, albeit with a different Jenner. And never let it be said that Jacquemus missed any opportunity to grab the spotlight, even when its designs are good enough to stand tall on their own merits.

But Jacquemus Jenga vs semi-NSFW Jacquemus Kendall Jenner campaign? One is always gonna top the other.

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