A group therapy session would be a good start, but some of these nasty siblings, parents, and distant relatives are so bad that they’re beyond help. Strap in for these stories that put the fun in dysfunctional.

1. Go Fetch!

I went to a BBQ party thrown by a friend of a friend. A woman there showed up with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend. It was a recipe for disaster, and it delivered. All three were under the influence and a bit too friendly with each other—while they weren’t calling each other horrible names. With them was a two or three-year-old little girl. She was as cute as can be with a real light about her.

I vaguely remember them telling very inappropriate stories when the little girl said she was hungry. The father goes and gets the bag of McDonald’s he had been grazing out of and pulls out a near full container of fries. He then proceeds to grab a few and throw them on the lawn. The girl without missing a beat runs around picking them up off the lawn and eating them.

He repeats this over and over in front of all the other adults, who didn’t seem to take an issue. It was like a game to him—one that he was clearly enjoying. The mom even smiled at it. My wife and I promptly left the party after witnessing that.


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