
The online sexual misinformation crisis is in full swing.
A brand new, nationally representative report into the UK’s sex habits by health and wellness platform
27 percent of the 3,688 adults surveyed say most of their sex education comes from pornography, with 37 percent stating they learn from their partners, and 33 percent say they learn from “trial and error.”
51 percent of men say porn has changed their perception of how long they should last in bed and how erect their penis should be.
The report found that young men who turn to porn are getting stressed out about what’s expected of them in sexual encounters. 51 percent of men say porn has changed their perception of how long they should last in bed and how erect their penis should be. And 50 percent say that porn has changed their perception of sex completely.
38 percent of Gen Z men say sex stresses them out, as compared to 15 percent of Boomer men. 54 percent of Gen Z men say porn has altered their perception of what sex should be like.
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When it comes to body image pressures that men are facing, we know that penis size is also a source of anxiety due to broader media representations.
Porn, however, is not designed as an educational tool — it’s entertainment. And the scenes portrayed in porn are intended to bring our fantasies to life, rather than reflect the reality of sex. “It’s not that porn can’t be fun,” Dr. Rachel Rubin, urologist and sexual medicine specialist, explains in the report. “But it’s not helpful in terms of understanding what’s ‘normal’ when it comes to sexual health.” A lot of mainstream porn does not typically show consent negotiation or the application of barrier contraception methods, let alone the typical conversations about sexual boundaries that we have in real life.
Sex education is falling short
The answer to the sex misinformation crisis is not to limit people’s access to porn. In the UK, we are witnessing a burgeoning moral panic over pornography and sex education.
Of course, we know that inadequate sex education in schools leaves young people with more questions than answers. Other research into the state of sex education has found that
Our own sex education doesn’t end when we leave school — it’s a lifelong journey and we’re continuously learning new things. FYI, Mashable has a weekly sex column called
Teach young people porn literacy
Experts consulted in the report say there’s now a cognitive dissonance between the sex on our screens and the sex we’re having IRL. So, where do we go from here? Journalist and sex educator Alix Fox advocates porn education as solution to reducing this cognitive gap. “We need to make people more porn-literate,” says Fox. “I advocate teaching people how to view porn with a critical, informed eye and realise that not all of the content they see necessarily reflects real life.”
Margot Weiss, associate professor of American studies and anthropology at Wesleyan University, says the relationship between fantasy porn and reality sex isn’t a binary. “While it’s true that what you want to watch in porn is not necessarily what you want to do in your actual life, it’s also not the case that fantasy is disconnected from actual life. It’s not just a totally different realm that has no relationship to the real world.”
In short: porn can be really great for getting us off and indulging fantasies. But when it comes to comparing it to the sex we have in real life, it’s a confusing, blurry line.
“We need to make people more porn-literate.”
Dr. Denise Asafu-Adjei, urologist and medical advisory board at Hims and Hers, says we need to open the lines of communication with young people so they’re not internalising unrealistic standards while watching porn.
“We need to have normalised conversations with young men about sex, not only so that they know what to expect, but also so they don’t look to a fantasy as a benchmark to what they should be.”