A fake

There is one House of the Dragon prop I crave above all. Not a sword (I don’t have the space), not a dragon egg (what’s the point if they don’t hatch?), and certainly not a crown (I’d merely be a pretender).

No, I just want one of those stone balls and dishes the Small Council use to clock in to meetings.

Introduced in the very first episode of House of the Dragon, the Small Council balls quickly became a fascinating bit of Red Keep lore. Showrunner Ryan Condal told The Hollywood Reporter in 2022 that the stones are “a way of visualizing the set formality of the Small Council chamber.” And in an article for Slash Film, writer Mike Shutt praised the stones as a demonstration of a time-old governing tradition and process — one that will somehow be broken by the time we reach the stoneless Small Council of Game of Thrones. The balls also became plot-relevant, as Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) killed Master of Coin Lyman Beesbury (Bill Paterson) by slamming his head into his own attendance ball. Brutal.

But on top of the world-building details these stones afford, they just look like they’d be a lot of fun to own and use in everyday life (minus the whole murder weapon thing, of course). Imagine how satisfying it must be for Small Council members to plunk their own individual ball down at each meeting. It’s certainly more enjoyable than punching a time card, scanning a key card into an office, or just changing your Slack status to active.

Still skeptical of the balls’ potential for fun? Look no further than the House of the Dragon Season 2 premiere. In our first Small Council meeting of the season, we see Aegon II’s (Tom Glynn-Carney) son Jaehaerys playing with Tyland Lannister’s (Jefferson Hall) ball, much to the amusement of his father. (Now that Tyland has replaced Lyman as Master of Coin, there’s a chance Jaehaerys is playing with the Criston Cole Murder Ball. Fun for the whole family!)

I get it, Jaehaerys. I, too, want to pick up the smooth, shiny object and screw around with it. Frankly, it’s a crime that I can’t!

See, on June 12, Warner Bros. released a new House of the Dragon merch collection. There’s apparel, mugs, stickers, a little light-up dragon egg, and even a decanter set. But no personal Small Council ball! How else am I supposed to jazz up my office space and live my bureaucratic Westerosi fantasy? What else am I supposed to fidget with during long meetings? A stress ball, like some kind of peasant? No! Now that I’ve seen what the Targaryens and and Hightowers and Lannisters are using in their place of work, I won’t settle for anything less.

Forget Team Black or Team Green — I’m more interested in which Small Council ball you’d most want to own. After all, there’s so many to choose from. Do you want to get Otto Hightower’s (Rhys Ifans) lighter green ball or Alicent Hightower’s (Olivia Cooke) mottled black and white one? I’m partial to Master of Laws Jasper Wylde’s (Paul Kennedy) blue stone myself. It contrasts nicely with the white of the plate that holds it. (Can you tell I’ve watched this show one too many times?)

If you’re ambitious, you can even try to get the full set and play Westerosi marbles with them. Just…try not to kill any Masters of Coin with your new prized possession. We’ve got to maintain the sanctity of the most coveted prop (by me and only me) in the Seven Kingdoms.

New episodes of House of the Dragon air Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO and Max.

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